Is there a road to my heart.. to ... anything?

A small girl, can be seen visiting the grave of someone she obviously held dear in her lifetime. She has lived 12 years, and thought that is not that long... she has seen endless pain and destruction. Endless death, and despair. Endless tears, and blood. She can now not distinguish between anything of the two, especially love or hate, she can only feel hate. Hate so deep, that it runs through her veins and much red-blooded body. Eventually it diverges and leaks out into nothingness, leaving her with complete apathy, and yet some agony.

'Kouyouki...' A mere thought popped into the child's head as the agony in her blood would rush around and find its much focal pointed center. Her chest. It started to weigh heavy and so she wondered what this new feeling was. She was never good with emotion. All she knew is that she must return to traveling and not spend too much time visiting her once beloved grave sight.

"I am alone... and that's all I've ever been... That's all I'll ever be..." She said picking up her sword and put it in it's sheath as she began to solemnly walk away from the sight. The wind blew and her hair with her, her eyes shot with a sense of death, and the smell of blood rose to her nose.

'Alone...' She concluded in thought. And though there was no one dying in the area, she could picture it as she walked directly into her own nightmare. Though there was no literacy of the vision, she could remember it all too well.. and once again the blood stained upon her hands came into her touch. She did not manage to care about this.. after all it was all she knew, and all she ever knew. And at times it seemed that the deep crimson gashes upon her arms were her only sense of herself, which was slowly slipping away from the rough fabrics of this game we call life.

'Ayaka Kurusugawa is my name...' She thought, and continued walking. 'Kill or be killed... make a choice.. A small smirk appeared upon her face, and of course again her blood would return to it's apathetic state once more.

Ayaka finally started on her journey as a rogue ninja. The smell of blood still in her nose, but she did not care. After all the only thing she knew of physical sights was that. The crimson color which looked like a blood red ocean. As the sun would set over it and burn it to ashes, so would the thought of it in her mind.

'I'm destined to be alone.. that's all I'll ever be. My mother, father, family.. my best friend... my heart.. everything is gone, so so is my soul...' She thought to herself walking along the path of destruction to a certain village she'd seek refuge to. She'd stay there a little and then leave, it was all she has been doing since that dreadful night.

"So are you gonna fight us like real ninjas or what..? Run away and hide? of course then we'd have to kill you." Spoke the leader of the rogue ninja gang who were intending to kill them. A young boy of about Ayaka's age back then, 10 or so stepped up and guarded Ayaka. This stance, if it had words, was to say "I will protect you, even if I die." And he meant it. With that serious look on his face, he drew a kunai in his hands and spoke to the ninja with the big mouth.

"I am a real ninja, I'll fight you. Let's make a deal, you don't touch a hair on Ayaka's head, and I won't completely obliterate your men..." The boy spoke coldly as Ayaka could just watch, she did not want to interfere at the moment. This was the last bit of hope she had. Her heart was pounding just thinking of what might happen, pounding in his presence. Yes she did love once ,and she loved him with all her heart. The matter is, she never told him. That is the one and only regret she has, living her life by the past is always something regretful. "And who are you, boy to say such big words to me hm? Sure, I won't touch your little girlfriend.. but I might perhaps.. need to kill you..." She grinned in a menacing way which told them she was twisted. All she knew was know how to kill, and then breaking the thunderous silence that fell upon them, the boy spoke..

"I don't need to state my name to you lowlife people... or is it so that you want to revere me? Is that it? I'm Kouyouki Kazahana... pleasure to meet you. You just walked into your own death...welcome.."His eerie voice spoke with an undertone as he was now getting into a rage. His eyes cold and dead as Ayaka's almost, but still sparkling with the innocence of a child in them. Ayaka backed off, and fell to the ground, only watching what was happening right now. Starstruck at what was being said, she could only listen. Her ears were deafened by his words, and her eyes were blinded by the next sights she beheld that day. And ever since she hasn't forgotten the horrors that rid her body in a way such as no other.

The next sight was of Kouyouki in a pool of blood murdered by the three ninja. The leader and her two followers. After the killing the ninja did flee from the scene. For the look in Ayaka's eyes was pure death. She meant it, she walked over to his corpse and lent before him gathering him in her arms. She searched his now closed eyes for an answer, but there was none. This was a cry on deaf ears, and no more soul lurked within the bodies of both of them. Kouyouki would now find a new journey in the heavens and Ayaka would find her own here on this planet. Why must she go through all the torture? That was always a question of hers and she never had an answer. It was like a lock without a key. Much like the way she was feeling for Kouyouki... maybe he wasn't meant to be with her... She never loved after that.

"After all what is love but a nicer word for wanting exclusive possession? It's nothing but pure selfish intentions, and the emotions... " Her voice trailed off for a moment remembering that moment in time, and forever savoring it. Replaying it behind her closed eyes as if inspecting every last part of that horrid scene, and then clutching the sealed red crystal in her palm. She opened her eyes and looked to the skies finishing the sentence. "Emotions are nothing but a pain... and should not have been invented in the first place... love.. is a useless emotion..." She then began to set off on her travels again. And once again the same thought came to her mind, as it settled back to her original state. Serenity and yet at the same time a manic chaos.

'My name is Ayaka Kurusugawa... I am 12 years old... and killing is my life.. ' 'To make a choice, you must be killed or kill yourself to survive.. Kouyouki deserted me. My heart is now dead.. the one regret I have...'

^-- [Chapter 1: Nothingness.] ~ Finished. (NOTE: I will be narrating the story from now on.)
___________________________________

Chapter 2: Everything.

I would come up to the village gate. A village gate to another village. Maybe I could stay here and not be bothered or bother anyone for a while. I wanted to remain low profile. All I had was my sword and myself. Little did I know an adventure awaited me here. This is where it was all going to start, and where everything would occur.

The Village: The Sand Village. The village where the ancient Kage Gaara ruled. He was a good, no a great Kazekage and everyone respected him for so I was told. I wondered what went on here now. I walked into the village facing the guards, and they're never ending questions. Well, here's a glimpse of what happened.

Ayaka was suddenly stopped by the guards and she blinked. The guards then, the two of them, stood next to each other looking at her with protective eyes. They were protecting the village, only doing their job. Ayaka could only stand there and listen to what they were saying to her. One of them spoke while the other kept his weapon drawn.

"Who are you, and what is your business here? Speak up or we will have to send you off. Invasion and we will have to kill you." He said that as if he were told and trained to say that. I simply did not speak but shook my head. When they wanted to hear my voice to make things more clear, I spoke softly. I did not want any trouble. The gleam in my eyes went from cold and blood thirsty to cold and soft... pained. Or rather annoyed to just leave me be.

"My purpose here is.. visiting. I am a homeless ninja, wandering of my own will. I haven't any jutsu skills yet, so no invasion is possible. I have no intention to destroy this Sand Village. What I have intention to do is be let in.. and have a home for some time." That was the the truth, put in a harsh way. I could not show weakness. The eyes of my soul, were always watching as theirs should be as well. They nodded and backed off, letting me into the village. This was to be my temporary home, this was to be everything necessary for me to survive right now. Ever since I lost.. my ... everything...

Walking into the village I saw many different expressions upon many different faces. Some happy, some sad, and some indifferent. Whatever, my only priority right now was to do whatever I needed to do and then get out. Find hospitality for a while and then leave that's how it was. Something clung to me though, this gut deep feeling that something peculiar was going to happen here. I guess this was the beginning of my journey as Kouyouki started his, I have started mine. Time to live my life the way I want to live it, with plenty of death. Sadistic natures always lurked within me somewhere, this town would no doubt bring it out of me.

There was a far off town to this village I had wandered into for the time being. A gambling town. Full of crooks and crimes, and of course gamblers. How foolish they were. Have they no conception of money to conserve it, and salvaged what they need? It is necessary to live you know? It was their choice. Upon entering this barren town, I was approached by a male. A young male, someone of about my age, 12. He looked at me with intrigue, but I simply ignored the look. After continuing to walk along the path, I found a spot where I could sit down and rest, the boy then came over to me and next to me. His eyes were awkward, the emotions in them I was not used to. It was like he was a riddle I was trying to decipher, but no dice. Something I just couldn't decode.

He then spoke softly with a smiling. "Hello there, you tired?"

I paid no mind to this boy, but I did answer his question. If someone speaks to me I would speak back. It is only human nature to reply to a comment, a sporadic comment like this one was. I only could nod, not allowing him to hear my voice just yet. He smiled and then said something else:

"Oh you're tired? Well if you want a place to rest your head for the night, my place is always open. And I always have a pillow ready for ya if you need one." He smiled brightly. As he finished his statements all I did was walk away as the turbulent wind blew in causing my hair to blow in the direction the wind was. He seemed to have shock upon his face as no one usually declined his offers. I had a feeling that he would do something unsanitary to me if I accepted. Thus, I did not. I continued to walk back to the Sand Village itself. This is where I came across a girl training. She looked to be about Jounin age, and strength, little did I know she was a Grand Sannin. And that she would be my future sensei.


I walked to sit on a rock at the entrance of the training fields. I did not want to be a bother, so I pulled out a book and began to read. At this point I really did not care, when did I ever? I didn't think she'd know I was there, coming in so silently. But to my dismay she spoke:

"And who might you be? Why are you here?" Immediately, but not hurriedly I closed the book I was reading and set it down on the rock I stood up and walking to her, I bowed. I showed great respect. Her chakra was immense, obviously a strong ninja.

"My name is Ayaka, Kurusugawa. I am a traveling ninja. I have no family, no home. But I do not need pity... I do not wish to talk, but read my book. I have no purpose for being here.. but studying and relaxing... away from society...." The woman looked me directly in the eyes and she seemed to change from a cold demeanor in her eyes to a spark of wonder. I could see she did take an interest to me, the question is, why? And then she would begin to speak as she walked around me with her finger to her chin, thinking.

"Ayaka, hm. Nice name. Are you a genin of the Sand Village?" Right then and there, I knew she knew I was different. She knew that I wasn't the type of person whom never expected compliments and did not care if people liked her or not. She wanted power, and power was something this woman had. We both had what the other wanted, a perfect match. She wanted a student, a good learner from the Sand Village, who worked diligently without question. And, I wanted power, and a sensei to teach me. It seemed the pieces of the puzzle, fit together. Everything did.

She knew I wasn't of the Sand Village but I was of Genin strength. She saw the sword and took a glance at it as well as me once over more. She came to the front of me with closed eyes and then opened them and yawned. She could tell from my eyes what I sought.

"I suppose, I'll train you.." She yawned and went to go sit on a nearby rock in the area. She seemed pretty lazy to me to be a Sannin, but I only looked at her under the sun that was shining. My eyes squinted and I replied.

"I have not asked to be trained, but I shall accept your offer. A powerful ninja always comes in handy in times of trouble.. and skills help in the situation respectively."She nodded and from then on she agreed to be my sensei. We would have to get acquainted first before any training went on, and everything else was to fall into play by getting to know the other.

"Ayaka,... -Aya-chan. What is your age and element? What is your rank, genin correct? And, do you wish for me to be your sensei?" I nodded and went straight to a cold reply.

"Aya-chan is fine.. I am 12 years old. Genin rank, and I wield water as my element. I have a sword in which I use to kill.. but that isn't important... I do wish to have more power... if you can acquire me in that request... it does not matter to me, I will accept." I stood there and waited for her next comment. This was definitely going to be an intriguing conversation. We both might have been of the same intellectual level, and for a 12 year old, that was quite impressive. Sh and I could communicate well I felt. And in the future, who knows what might happen?

The test of wits continued, and I continued to keep up with her as she did with me. It seems that even though we were of different time periods, and of different strengths and levels, we could understand each other as if we were mother and daughter.. Ah ... mother..

"So.. you are a rogue ninja residing in Suna currently? What brings you here?"

"This is what I normally do. It is or has become a routine of mine.. I stay in a village for a little while and recover my strength. My wits.. my.. body. Then I keep moving, as if it never happened. It is just what I do.. call me what you wish.. think of me what you will.. that doesn't change anything... " From that statement she seemed more intrigued with me, and she put her hand to her chin as if thinking on that last comment. I couldn't lie, I was somewhat interested in learning from this ninja.

"Very well, I shall train you, but you and the many other genin of Suna must leanr under my brother and I. No straying or going off on the wrong roads.. I hear you went down that path and I won't train you anymore.. simple as that." She paused a moment and when I thought she was done, she then interrupted the brief silence once more speaking of something important. She turned her back to face the other way and a slight breeze drew out and blew. "And another thing, I may be a Sannin and a teacher, and I may have worked hard to get to where I am.. but I am lazy.. and I dare you to get me to work.." She yawned and walked out of the scene between myself and her. That left me wondering and thinking. My judgment could not yet be passed on such a small amount shown of this ninja. She was a mysterious one, and something that enticed my intrigue. I wondered what her name was, she hadn't spoke of that to me. Well no use in staying in this desolate area. I set off to the town center and looked around a while before meeting up with a girl seemingly having trouble finding her way around. Or no wait... was she blind?